كيف تعدّون قائمة ضيوف الزفاف: كم ضيفًا تدعون، والقائمة أ والقائمة ب، والمرافقون، والأطفال، ومن يعتذر، والردود عبر الإنترنت، مع مثال محسوب خطوة بخطوة.
فريق Eventadore11 دقائق قراءةحُدّث في 26 أكتوبر 2026
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Make your wedding guest list before you look at a single venue, because the number of guests decides the size of the room, the catering bill and most of your budget. Write down everyone you would both like there, sort them into an A list (must invite) and a B list (would like to), and work out how many guests to invite from three numbers: what you can spend per guest, how many the venue can seat, and how many are likely to decline. Close to home, a common rule of thumb is that 10–20% of guests say no — an estimate, not a law.
It is tempting to fall for a venue first. But a barn that seats 70 is the wrong barn for a family of 120, and a hall for 150 looks empty with 60. Nearly every large cost grows with the number of people:
So write the list first, even roughly. On Eventadore, when you enter your date and your number of guests, each card in the venue search shows what that day costs, all in; without them, you see a price range. Our guide to choosing a wedding venue covers what to ask once you have a shortlist.
There is no right size for a wedding, only the size that fits your budget, your venue and your families.
Divide the part of your budget meant for the venue, food and drink by the price per head. If €12,000 is set aside and the caterer quotes about €125 a head with drinks, that is room for about 96 people. Every ten guests you add or remove moves the total by roughly €1,000–2,000. More in how to set a wedding budget.
Count the seated capacity for dinner with the dance floor and the DJ or band in place, not the standing figure in the brochure. Then make it your ceiling: never invite more people than the room can seat if every single one says yes. Sometimes everybody does.
Nobody can tell you exactly; treat every figure here as an estimate. For a wedding close to where most guests live, a common rule of thumb is that 10–20% of those invited cannot come. Expect more declines with:
Your own families are a better guide than any percentage. To turn seats into invitations: guests to invite ≈ seats you want ÷ (1 − the share you expect to decline). For 80 seats and 15% declining, that is 80 ÷ 0.85 ≈ 94. Then check the result against your ceiling.
Lena and Jonas marry on a Saturday in June, an hour's drive from most of their families. Their budget has room for about 80 people at dinner, at around €125 a head for food, drinks and cake, and the venue they love seats 90.
If all 86 accept, they are 88 at the tables: inside the 90 seats, and about €1,000 over the food budget — which their 10% buffer covers.
Sort by questions, not name by name:
Being invited to somebody's wedding years ago does not oblige you to invite them to yours.
If both families contribute, agree how the places are divided before anyone writes a name — half for each side, or a third each for the two of you and for each family. A fixed number per side ends most arguments before they start. Parents who pay may reasonably expect a say; decide together how much.
Use the same reply date on every invitation, and send the A list early enough — about four months ahead — that declines arrive while there is still time to invite somebody else. An invitation that lands three weeks before the wedding tells everyone it was a second round. And keep the B list away from close-knit groups where only half the friends are on the A list: friends compare dates.
The fairest guest list is one whose rules you can explain in a sentence. Decide these three together, then apply them to everyone, including the cousin who asks nicely.
An easy rule to explain: partners in an established couple — married, engaged or living together — are invited by name, both of them. Single guests get a plus-one if they would otherwise know nobody, or if they are in the wedding party. Write the name of everyone invited on the invitation: "and guest" leaves you with a number you cannot plan.
There are four workable answers: all children, no children, only close family's children (nieces, nephews, godchildren), or children up to a certain age, such as babies in arms. Name exactly who is invited, and if it is no children, tell the parents early and in person, because some will need a babysitter. If many children are coming, ask about a children's menu: many caterers charge less for children, often nothing for toddlers and a reduced price up to about 12.
Invite the whole team, or only the colleagues who are also friends outside work. Inviting four out of six people in one office is the version that causes trouble.
Invitations go to households — one card for the couple next door, one for your aunt, uncle and cousins — so Lena and Jonas's 86 guests need only 41 invitations. Plan stationery, postage and addresses per household, and expect replies the same way: one person usually answers for everyone under one roof.
A guest list that works has one line per person, grouped by household, with these columns:
If you invite a wider circle to the evening party only, mark it per household, so nobody reads "ceremony and dinner" on a card meant for the party. And collect addresses early: chasing a great-aunt's postcode two weeks before the invitations are due is nobody's favourite job.
Ask about food in the same step as the reply, not in a second round of messages, and keep two questions apart:
Ask each guest, not only the person who replies for the household, and give the caterer a list by name and table rather than a count, or the vegan plate ends up at the wrong seat. A professional caterer should be able to tell you which allergens are in each dish: under EU rules, information on the 14 main allergens has to be available even for food that is not packaged, as in a restaurant. For menus, drinks and service, see our wedding catering guide.
Paper reply cards are lovely and slow; an online reply collects the answer, the menu choice and the allergy in one go. Whatever you use:
When to send the invitations themselves is in when to send save-the-dates and invitations.
If you plan on Eventadore, the guest list is one of the free tools in your Planning, alongside a free wedding website. You set the reply date in the guest list, and everyone gets the same link: a guest types their first and last name as they are on your list, their household opens, and they say who is coming to which event, with food wishes and a message, and can change it until your reply date. Every reply lands in your guest list; someone who is not on it can still reply, marked as new for you to check. Guests read the site in their own language, which helps when your families live in more than one country. The guest list guide shows it step by step, and what to put on your wedding website covers the rest of the site.
There is no reliable figure, only rules of thumb: for a wedding close to home, 10–20% declining is a common estimate; for a wedding abroad, a third or more is not unusual. Plan your seats for every name on your A list saying yes.
Only if it shows. Send the A list early, use one reply date for everyone and send the last B invitations at least eight weeks before the day, so no invitation is obviously late.
No. Invite established couples together, both by name, and give a plus-one to single guests who would otherwise know nobody.
Usually four to six weeks before the wedding, which leaves a week or two to chase the last answers before the caterer needs the final number. For a wedding abroad, ask earlier, because guests book flights and rooms further ahead.
Not as guests, but as meals. Suppliers who work through dinner usually need one, so tell the caterer how many and ask what they charge for a supplier meal.
